On this day 9th June 2016 I was lying in a high dependancy ward in a hospital 50 miles from home after having major surgery to remove cancer from my liver.
Today the 9th of June 2017 I have just accepted an offer of sale on my little flat and looking to move on an create a family home with Mr Sparkles.
To say that my life has done a complete 360 would be a total understatement! Truth be told I am finding it a little hard to actually put into words how I feel. Memories of the surgery, the recovery … the pain are all flooding back yet I am excited too!
Buying a house together is a big step … a huge step even! I am excited for the future and to hopefully starting a family. There are so many things to look forward too yet there is this little whisper in my head reminding me of the “What if’s ….”
Everyone always say’s that you shouldn’t bottle things up as that just makes the problems seem worse yet today when I tried to talk to a work colleague who I consider a friend I was just brushed off – Hence why I am putting together this rambling blog post!
It is funny to say that my illness has had some positive effects on my life. It has brought me and Mr Sparkles closer. You always remember that moment you say those 3 little words for the first time don’t you? Well I bet none of you have ever said it in the inside of a hospital accident and emergency eh?
This time last year we were not even living together. I was too scared to ask him to move in incase he thought I was only asking him as I needed help with paying the bills due to being off sick!
Having cancer has opened up the doors for me to have some pretty major surgery later on this year that would never have been possible before. I will be blogging more about this in the coming weeks and months so will not say too much for the moment.
Time is definetly a good healer … each day gets better and the memories fade yet the scar’s remain both physically and emotionally. Will I ever be able to completely move on from cancer? No I don’t think so but I know now that it will not control my life anymore. I will not let it!
With Mr Sparkles by my side I am determindthe good days will continue to outnumber the bad days and I can keep my positive pants on and look on to the future with a smile!